"Boom, Boom, Boom" I could hear the beat of my heart thumping. I was nervous yet excited at the same time. Today is the day I present my play ' Little Red Riding Hood' in front of students for the very first time.
This wasn't a long play or a play preformed in a theater just a regular school play, but it still made me nervous. "How am I going to be able to do this?" I asked my teacher who was also the director of the play. She told me "just pretend like it's a rehearsal and everything will be okay" I took her advise.
* * *
"Places everyone." Said Miss Perez, "And... action." Knocking on the door about to say my first line I remember why I'm doing this, to have fun. "Grandma it's me Little red" I say with excitement and enthusiasm.
During the middle of the performance I just started having fun with it. I had to do this twice and I was so excited for my second time. And I hope I will do so much better knowing i can do this. I am up for anything know my friends will support me the whole time.
* * *
My last line of the play i the second performance then I don't have to do this again "Uncle Mike I think I have someone who wants this job. He's great with kids and up for anything." And now end of the show. Yay now for the party.
6 comments:
Tori,
I really like you memoir. It is very interesting to read and I think the content is very well written. There are a few typos here and there but in all I think you did very.well. I like how you used the flash back technique in the beginning, it really grabs the reader. I think you may want to consider elaborating more on how you felt during the show. You have a tendency to write about little snippets of things and not focus on the main event. When writing rough draft 3 you may want to focus more on your "hot spot". You did a great job. And I can tell you put a lot of thought and effort into this piece of writing. Great Job!
Tori,
Good job on finding a base to write about. When reading your writing, I was able to feel like I was at your first play. If I were you, I would try to elaborate on each section. You jumped from one place to another without getting everything down to the point. Also, beware of typos and grammar mistakes, other than that, this is a good start. In draft three, I would try to add more of your emotions into the next paragraphs because you kind of lost them after the first one.
It was very descriptive and non-stop.
I loved how you used dialog in your memoir. Although your grammar is a little off. this is better than your 1st one and your writing skills are better and i cant wait to read your third draft
Tori,
I like the way you picked a base to write about.While I was reading I felt like I was really there. But I would try to elaborate more in each paragraph they seemed a little short. Beware of typos and grammar errors.
I can tell you gave a lot of effort trying to avoid mistakes. i really appreciate it.
What was the point when you overcame your nervousness. you should expand on that. also, watch your verb tense.
Post a Comment